Growing Up

I am sure this is something that every mum has to go through at some point or other - these kids God gives us are only temporary and we are to always be thinking of letting them go - which is great in theory to say when they are little but gets harder as they start to fly the nest. And it does seem they don't do it all in one good, which may or may not be easier. Oh no they do it in little jumps and starts, then come back and unload on you. And as a mother it is always to the heart.
I think too it is harder here as I have always home schooled and so they have had few friendship groups that I didn't at least know someone in the group. But also because we have done the Ywam stuff and other traveling we have shared bedrooms and also shared secrets because of that. The kids and I have always been very close.
I don't say I want them to stay forever either, but I would like to just cope with what I am feeling. It seems such a short time ago I was holding hands to cross the road with them, and now Ben has gone to Swindon and back, had a sleep over with people I don't even know, girls included in the sleep over!!, but then comes home all grumpy and over tired!!
I think too there is just that thing of how much can I trust him, how much can I trust God with him, how much will God let him go, how close is he to God, and what does God have planned for his life, and also that I do miss him lots and know I have to work through this process.
Not helped either by hearing about one Christian friend, great in the prophetic world, who has got pregnant and is having to get married, and another lovely one who is struggling with sleeping with her boyfriend on and off and who's greatest fear is getting pregnant, not what God thinks. I know sleeping with someone isn't the greatest sin of all, but sometimes I do wonder where all this fits in and where we do see Jesus in it all.
Though as I write this I know that I have issues I have to deal with, some of which involve not forgiving others and so who is to say. And also I have issues about letting go and fulfilling my role as a mother, and dealing too with Ian behaving like a man!!!!!! :-)