Hey three weeks running and I've been to the same Anglican church. In fact I can't remember when I last went to church 3 weeks running. In fact its been 4 weeks running as I was at a large charismatic church before this 3 week run!!
This morning the talk was about how we should be living the mystery of Advent and of Jesus in us not just talking about it, and not just coming to church. This all fitted in very nicely with a lovely friend who always makes me think, who asked if my blog was always faith based. I haven't replied to her email yet but this sermon got me thinking. And you know what I think that everything I consciously do should be faith based. Ok so I know too that everything I subconsciously do should be faith based too but I'm not so good at that. I screw up, I swear, I make mistakes, I lose my temper, I do lots of things that I'm not ready to confess here as yet. But deep inside what I really want to be doing is living my life based on Faith and Trust in Jesus, the Son of God, who came to bring me into right relationship with God the Father.
I am reading more and more books as I slog back and forth on the bus and all of them are leading me to want my life to be open to God so that through that I'm open to others and in bring them to be able to touch with God. I know there are some out there who are hungry for Him, some who are settled in where they are, some who really do not care, but I am hoping with all those God puts across my path they can see some of the mystery of Him lived out in my life.
How will I be able to do this? I don't quite know but I am hoping His Spirit in me and my being tuned into Him and want to live my whole life as a faith based life bring this into being.
Sunday 28 November 2010
Thursday 25 November 2010
Worshiping!!!
Last night I took Ian out last night to see the Saw Doctors, a folk rock band he use to follow ages ago that he hasn't seen in the time I've known him. It was my early Christmas present to him. I had never seen or heard anything by the band before but really loved it.
They were a great, lively band of older men, like most of the audience in age, full of fun and vitality. But much of it was like the average charismatic church but without the preaching, collection and prayers.
We all faced the band (always good when you've paid to see them), people knew the words (though with the band it was from listening to the songs not from the OHP), there was lots of clapping (some in time and some out of time), hands in the air waving, dancing, people generally being friendly and enjoying being in the crowd. It got me wondering though, as I was swept along with the atmosphere, how much of what goes on in the average charismatic church is really worshiping God or is it being swept along by the atmosphere. And who's to say when and where the Holy Spirit turns up anyway. There was one point when the song was very deep and meaningful and the saxophone was really taking the crowd that it felt like a true God moment. To me it felt like God had turned up.
The similarities were amazing and as I looked at my ring which says in Greek "No one lives for themselves" I felt like God saying that this was not just for us Christians but for all mankind - we all live for each other and that we are, not so much pack animals, though one can see that so often, but more connected to each other in some deeper way, something more spiritual. There is something in the fact that, if one believes the Bible, we are all children of God whether we choose to follow Him or not, He still made us all, and so there is that God connection in all of us.
Was last night worship? Maybe! But also sometimes on a Sunday morning we are worshiping the band, the sound system, the choice of songs, the whole set up rather than God.
They were a great, lively band of older men, like most of the audience in age, full of fun and vitality. But much of it was like the average charismatic church but without the preaching, collection and prayers.
We all faced the band (always good when you've paid to see them), people knew the words (though with the band it was from listening to the songs not from the OHP), there was lots of clapping (some in time and some out of time), hands in the air waving, dancing, people generally being friendly and enjoying being in the crowd. It got me wondering though, as I was swept along with the atmosphere, how much of what goes on in the average charismatic church is really worshiping God or is it being swept along by the atmosphere. And who's to say when and where the Holy Spirit turns up anyway. There was one point when the song was very deep and meaningful and the saxophone was really taking the crowd that it felt like a true God moment. To me it felt like God had turned up.
The similarities were amazing and as I looked at my ring which says in Greek "No one lives for themselves" I felt like God saying that this was not just for us Christians but for all mankind - we all live for each other and that we are, not so much pack animals, though one can see that so often, but more connected to each other in some deeper way, something more spiritual. There is something in the fact that, if one believes the Bible, we are all children of God whether we choose to follow Him or not, He still made us all, and so there is that God connection in all of us.
Was last night worship? Maybe! But also sometimes on a Sunday morning we are worshiping the band, the sound system, the choice of songs, the whole set up rather than God.
Sunday 21 November 2010
Advent
I got invited today to our local Anglican church's woman's Bible study. It really does cater for busy women as it is at 10.30 on Sunday morning to coincide with the main service so those with children don't have to look for a baby sitter, those with husbands who don't go don't have to make another day to be out of the house, and those who are busy don't have to try to find another space in their calendar.
Now I don't know what it is about Anglicans and how time just seems to stand still for them. I have always found that Anglicans, maybe because they are so clear at what they do can do twice, three times as much, as charismatics and can make one feel more special and more relaxed Maybe I just hit lucky, or maybe God's trying to tell me something.
Anyway we were looking at Advent, which for me feels very important as I know so many people, including myself, who have something they are waiting, often not as patiently as they should, for God to help them give birth to something, to reveal the next piece of the plan, the puzzle, to give them the leg up to the next bit of the journey. So like the established church so many people are waiting. And I was expecting something about this.
The person leading got us to think instead that this is a time to remember we are not just waiting for the remembrance of the first coming of Jesus, but also to be remembering the second coming of Jesus, which as we should all know from reading our Bibles will be a totally scary time, a time of judgments, and God coming in Power, and of the moon turning to blood and many other quite scary things. Even though it will also herald in the amazing time of Jesus living on this earth with us, it is not a pleasant period to have to live through. But it is what we should be looking forward too as well.
We looked at 1Thess 4:13-5:7 and how Paul reassures the people that all, even those already dead, will be risen with Christ in the last days, but what we all noted was that twice he says to encourage each other. This is a hard journey the Christian one. Christianity, when we truly open ourselves up to Jesus is a hard journey of changing our sinful ways and becoming more like Him, and there are so many different ways of doing that, and some of them maybe not Holy Spirit led. But in this hard journey we do need to connect with people who are going to walk with us, how are going to encourage us and who will understand how hard it all is.
Do we get this in church? I think at times we do. But I think most importantly we get it with friends who really know the struggle we are going through, who really know how much we are changing and how much we want to change. Fellowship is about being with each other together on the journey
Now I don't know what it is about Anglicans and how time just seems to stand still for them. I have always found that Anglicans, maybe because they are so clear at what they do can do twice, three times as much, as charismatics and can make one feel more special and more relaxed Maybe I just hit lucky, or maybe God's trying to tell me something.
Anyway we were looking at Advent, which for me feels very important as I know so many people, including myself, who have something they are waiting, often not as patiently as they should, for God to help them give birth to something, to reveal the next piece of the plan, the puzzle, to give them the leg up to the next bit of the journey. So like the established church so many people are waiting. And I was expecting something about this.
The person leading got us to think instead that this is a time to remember we are not just waiting for the remembrance of the first coming of Jesus, but also to be remembering the second coming of Jesus, which as we should all know from reading our Bibles will be a totally scary time, a time of judgments, and God coming in Power, and of the moon turning to blood and many other quite scary things. Even though it will also herald in the amazing time of Jesus living on this earth with us, it is not a pleasant period to have to live through. But it is what we should be looking forward too as well.
We looked at 1Thess 4:13-5:7 and how Paul reassures the people that all, even those already dead, will be risen with Christ in the last days, but what we all noted was that twice he says to encourage each other. This is a hard journey the Christian one. Christianity, when we truly open ourselves up to Jesus is a hard journey of changing our sinful ways and becoming more like Him, and there are so many different ways of doing that, and some of them maybe not Holy Spirit led. But in this hard journey we do need to connect with people who are going to walk with us, how are going to encourage us and who will understand how hard it all is.
Do we get this in church? I think at times we do. But I think most importantly we get it with friends who really know the struggle we are going through, who really know how much we are changing and how much we want to change. Fellowship is about being with each other together on the journey
Friday 12 November 2010
Maybe some of what we should remember...
I have carried on pondering these thoughts of remembering and it has struck me that we do need to remember so many things but one is that we live in a free country where it is safe to protest.
My daughter was on the student protest in London on Weds (10th Nov 2010) and she has some photos of some of the demonstrators who got into the Millibank building. She did also get glass in her eye when they knocked the windows out which a kindly policeman sorted out for her and she is fine. Just a boosted ego!!
But what has struck me, especially as we are doing about apartheid in Cultural Studies is how free were are in the country to protest and how people are seen, on the whole as individuals. Oh people will cry Police brutality at some things. I wonder if we expect are Police to be more than human at times.
But when Tabi was hut she was seen as something separate to what was going on, and was treated accordingly. In many other countries she could have been beaten and arrested just because of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Even these anarchists will not be beaten until they confess, will not be placed in a dank prison where they may never get out of.
Ok we might say that the government will not take any notice of these protest, which is what has led to a lot of apathy over recent years on protesting but at least we are free and safe to do it.
Let us maybe remember what we could've been.
My daughter was on the student protest in London on Weds (10th Nov 2010) and she has some photos of some of the demonstrators who got into the Millibank building. She did also get glass in her eye when they knocked the windows out which a kindly policeman sorted out for her and she is fine. Just a boosted ego!!
But what has struck me, especially as we are doing about apartheid in Cultural Studies is how free were are in the country to protest and how people are seen, on the whole as individuals. Oh people will cry Police brutality at some things. I wonder if we expect are Police to be more than human at times.
But when Tabi was hut she was seen as something separate to what was going on, and was treated accordingly. In many other countries she could have been beaten and arrested just because of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Even these anarchists will not be beaten until they confess, will not be placed in a dank prison where they may never get out of.
Ok we might say that the government will not take any notice of these protest, which is what has led to a lot of apathy over recent years on protesting but at least we are free and safe to do it.
Let us maybe remember what we could've been.
Thursday 11 November 2010
Remembrance Day
A day to remember.
But to remember what?
The origins of Remembrance Day were so that Europe would remember what happened in The Great War.
That was the 1st World War to us now.
So many wars have happened since then.
So many young men have died.
What are we remembering?
I find it all very confusing, especially as I spent years as a Peace protester - an interesting oxymoron!
I forgot again to remember the 2 minutes silence at 11 o'clock as did my young companions. But what could I have told them if I had remembered.
In Bath at 8.45 Monday morning a group of soldiers were putting poppies in the a lovely stone cross on the ground outside the abbey and seemed to be doing the 11th November service which seemed a bit strange.
Now these soldiers they know what they are remembering. I'm sure many have lost comrades.
My son is still talking of joining the army and still keeps going to the selection dates and being deferred for one reason or another but still the journey there continues. I pray that war will be over by the time they let him in but Jesus seemed to promise that there would be wars and rumours of wars till He returned so unless He comes back before the Army or whoever take Ben then the wars will continue.
As I've been writing this I think what I shall remember is Jesus who fought the ultimate war with the evil one for our sakes so that we could be reconciled with God. Jesus took on Himself all those things that cause wars; jealousy, fear, greed, control. And because of Him we can find peace and freedom in this world in our hearts, and in the next totally.
So often too the world does the same to Jesus as they do for the soldiers that have died; they don't understand and so they just ignore it.
Please help me, Lord, to remember those mortal men who died so that I live in a free country, so that we can go an protest like the students did yesterday, but also help me to remember You, dear Jesus, who died for me so that I can be totally free.
But to remember what?
The origins of Remembrance Day were so that Europe would remember what happened in The Great War.
That was the 1st World War to us now.
So many wars have happened since then.
So many young men have died.
What are we remembering?
I find it all very confusing, especially as I spent years as a Peace protester - an interesting oxymoron!
I forgot again to remember the 2 minutes silence at 11 o'clock as did my young companions. But what could I have told them if I had remembered.
In Bath at 8.45 Monday morning a group of soldiers were putting poppies in the a lovely stone cross on the ground outside the abbey and seemed to be doing the 11th November service which seemed a bit strange.
Now these soldiers they know what they are remembering. I'm sure many have lost comrades.
My son is still talking of joining the army and still keeps going to the selection dates and being deferred for one reason or another but still the journey there continues. I pray that war will be over by the time they let him in but Jesus seemed to promise that there would be wars and rumours of wars till He returned so unless He comes back before the Army or whoever take Ben then the wars will continue.
As I've been writing this I think what I shall remember is Jesus who fought the ultimate war with the evil one for our sakes so that we could be reconciled with God. Jesus took on Himself all those things that cause wars; jealousy, fear, greed, control. And because of Him we can find peace and freedom in this world in our hearts, and in the next totally.
So often too the world does the same to Jesus as they do for the soldiers that have died; they don't understand and so they just ignore it.
Please help me, Lord, to remember those mortal men who died so that I live in a free country, so that we can go an protest like the students did yesterday, but also help me to remember You, dear Jesus, who died for me so that I can be totally free.
Tuesday 9 November 2010
Course!
Oh and forgot to say in update - I've sent off my university application to do History and Creative Writing in Bath Spa, and 2nd choice of History in either Bath or Bristol. My tutor was full supportive. My personal statement came together really quickly and easily. Interesting how that is so often the case when we do what we should be doing. So now it is just waiting for the whole UCAS process to happen and to get accepted in one of these.
Please pray its Bath Spa as it would just be so much easier to get to and I'd love to do the joint honors of History and Creative Writing.
Please pray its Bath Spa as it would just be so much easier to get to and I'd love to do the joint honors of History and Creative Writing.
Witnessing
I have realized when I decide to let God in on stuff just how much I want to talk about Him.
Since starting college life has been a bit up and down, a struggle to put it mildly. I have had a long chat with God after being told I needed more inner healing, after a throwaway remark I made, and not having the time to be able to spare to fit it in. Interesting one of the things I'm stressed with is finding time to do everything and yet here was someone suggesting how to fill more of my time!! Duh!!
Anyway long chat which seemed to help, but one of the things I did ask Him was, silly though it may seem, what book I should do for my book review. We had to do something fictional and I just love reading so it was hard to choose which one to pick. The one I was reading at the time didn't seem right. Anyway I picked a Francine Rivers one, Atonement Child, which is about a Christian girl who gets raped and people's reaction to the whole thing of whether she should abort the baby or not. In my talk I managed to link it in with Mary, the mother of Jesus, and of how maybe she'd had it suggested that she have an abortion, and maybe that was why she went off to stay with Elizabeth until she was too far pregnant. I managed to weave in God being a God of love and grace who we can trust not a God of rules.
But the most interesting thing to come out of this, even before I got to do my talk, is that I have had so many opportunities to talk about God; from my testimony, to explaining about love and grace and so much more.
It is like I was willing to make my self vulnerable in doing this book talk, which actually was only 2-3 minutes with no questions after, and God has just opened doors for my willing heart to just speak out. It is all very exciting.
Also for me it is all much more real than going to do Healing on The Streets or other forms of street evangelism or witnessing. I have always preferred the sitting around chatting to friends and telling my story. And what has amazed me is just how accepting people are of me.
Maybe its because this time together is going to be short but maybe too its because having been challenged on hurts inside me I have opened up my relationship to God again and let Him in to do the healing - not a course or program!!
Since starting college life has been a bit up and down, a struggle to put it mildly. I have had a long chat with God after being told I needed more inner healing, after a throwaway remark I made, and not having the time to be able to spare to fit it in. Interesting one of the things I'm stressed with is finding time to do everything and yet here was someone suggesting how to fill more of my time!! Duh!!
Anyway long chat which seemed to help, but one of the things I did ask Him was, silly though it may seem, what book I should do for my book review. We had to do something fictional and I just love reading so it was hard to choose which one to pick. The one I was reading at the time didn't seem right. Anyway I picked a Francine Rivers one, Atonement Child, which is about a Christian girl who gets raped and people's reaction to the whole thing of whether she should abort the baby or not. In my talk I managed to link it in with Mary, the mother of Jesus, and of how maybe she'd had it suggested that she have an abortion, and maybe that was why she went off to stay with Elizabeth until she was too far pregnant. I managed to weave in God being a God of love and grace who we can trust not a God of rules.
But the most interesting thing to come out of this, even before I got to do my talk, is that I have had so many opportunities to talk about God; from my testimony, to explaining about love and grace and so much more.
It is like I was willing to make my self vulnerable in doing this book talk, which actually was only 2-3 minutes with no questions after, and God has just opened doors for my willing heart to just speak out. It is all very exciting.
Also for me it is all much more real than going to do Healing on The Streets or other forms of street evangelism or witnessing. I have always preferred the sitting around chatting to friends and telling my story. And what has amazed me is just how accepting people are of me.
Maybe its because this time together is going to be short but maybe too its because having been challenged on hurts inside me I have opened up my relationship to God again and let Him in to do the healing - not a course or program!!
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