Monday 22 February 2010

Pushing Doors...... or prompted by God?

This is a personal, where I'm at blog

For a while I have been praying about Weymouth, the place where the 2012 Sailing events for the Olympics will be held and wondering about going down and prayer walking there. I've even been praying over my diary to see when I could do this. And interestingly about how I could be involved after it is all over.
We get the Ywam update magazine regularly and this month had something about teams for the 2012 Olympics so I emailed the person at the bottom to see what I could do. Turns out the person involved is someone we sort of know - the ex-captain, but still main man in charge, of the Next Wave, the Ywam ship my son Ben went on back in the summer of 2007. Ben is very lovely and so always remembered!!
From email to say I was up for doing something I have had an email back to say that the pastors of Weymouth are having a meeting to consider whether to have a Ywam coordinator help them set things up and would I be willing to consider it.
I did pray and have had some interesting dreams but the upshot is that if they say Yes then I am going to attend a meeting.

I do need to hold in my heart that it wont be till after Weds that I shall know if they even want someone or not, and then not till the meeting, which will be in the next couple of weeks, will I know if they want me.
Being me I have jumped ahead a bit and am seeing it as my job but that is because I am made that way and do have to imagine the situation and me in it before I can go anyway.

But the thing I come back to, the thoughts I have, are was this a prompt by God to get in touch at just this time, or did I want to push a door and it was coincidence? It is always that one that is hard to tell. How do we know what is God leading us and what is God being kind to us because He wants to bless us or even what is just coincidence? And how often do we push a door, it swings wide open but it is not of God at all and is going to lead us up some wrong path? But then if we do that with the right heart does God care for us and bless us anyway? And anyway is any experience ever wasted? or is that just a humanistic approach?

Lots of grapple with as well as trusting the outcome of this meeting on Weds and then.......

Friday 19 February 2010

The Mist

Tabi and I watched The Mist the other day. She wanted to try out a Stephen King! I will now spoil it all for anyone who has not seen it by giving my thoughts on it all, as there was a lot to think about in it with a very interesting twist at the end!

Basically the military release killing monsters from another world and they wreck havoc hiding in this very thick mist. It is not a traditional horror but more a psychological one, looking at how people react during extreme stress.
There was the religious nutcase who was very Old Testament, wrath and judgment. But she was charismatic and rallied the people. It was amazing how people could go from being so mild mannered to being whipped up into a frenzy that they were able to kill in cold blood. It was interesting too how even though people (the dozen or so good guys) kept telling her to shut up, they did not have enough back up to talk to the people. Their response was very much "shut up and stop scaring people" but nothing for anyone to hold on to. The crowd followed the fanatic because she had something to say.

Our good guys seem to do all the right things until the twist in the end. They fight off the monsters, protect the store, get medical supplies, treat the wounded. But when they believe there is no way out and that the mob may turn on them they decided to get out, to leave everyone to what seems to be an accepting fate. Of course the mob tries to stop them and the monsters eat some of them so it all appears to be very heroic. They then drive until the petrol runs out on his truck.
There they are, 4 adults and his son, in this thick mist with one gun with 4 bullets. He, our hero, heroically shoots his son and the other 3 adults and then gets out of the truck to take his fate with the monsters. All of which seems very courageous and stops the others having this horrid death.
Well as he steps out one sees that the mist is thinning. What has happened is that the military have come along and are torching all the monsters and their nests and now the planet is safe again!! He acted too soon.

In one of the military trucks is a woman who towards the beginning of the film is trapped in the store with all the rest, has totally accepted that there is danger in the mist but was only popping out for 5 mins and had left her 8 year old and 5 year old alone in the house, so she walks into the danger, totally selflessly just to hope that she can get to her children. And she is one of the ones who has been rescued along with her 2 children.

Of course we felt it was a very bum ending but the more I have pondered it, because it is one of those sorts of films, the more I have wondered in what we call heroism. How often do we reward the selfish act? The person who chooses to go it alone, to walk away from a dangerous mob situation? And how often do we reward the person who puts their safety after that of those they are called to care for?
I have been wondering this in the many situations we live in from family to church to work to neighbourhoods. The "good guys" very much were making a run for it, not being able to give anything helpful to the mob, knowing they couldn't take everyone with them so wanting to save those who had a similar mindset to them.
How often too do we not know what to say to the charismatic personality who is off the mark but has the crowd behind them?
All things to carry on pondering!

Thursday 11 February 2010

Conversation overheard on the bus

Once a fortnight I do this mega bus trip, an hour and 40 mins on the bus! Anyway there I am reading Martin Luther King's autobiography and crying and wondering if I would've been brave enough to stand with them, do I stand with the oppressed and hurting, and just taking a pause from reading to wonder about my own state of concerned-ness when I over hear this conversation of this young teenage lad on his mobile.

A rough transcript "I'm coming in on the bus now. Are you going to be there? Well I've got to sort out my overdraft first. You'd better be there as I've got you a birthday present! £450 of it! Can't say much as I'm on the bus, but let's just say there is so much there we can shovel it up like snow. Get what I mean! I've paid £100 down payment but need to get the rest sorted soon. Should just get us really wrecked!"

So the gist seems to be that the boy has got himself overdrawn to buy £450 worth of cocaine so him and this mate, who didn't seem to be really sorting himself out to come round, could get wasted!

Does make you wonder what the world is coming to! I prayed for him. I wasn't brave enough to turn round and say anything. Though not quite sure what I would've said. When he got off he looked about my Ben's age. Where were his family in all this?
More prayer for our young men I think!

Monday 8 February 2010

Head space

Just a quick blog to say sorry for not writing. I tried to start this morning but other things are buzzing in my head. I really do need space and quiet and time to just be able to create. And I want to keep what I put in here positive, because that is how I want to live my life. I'm doing my best. But at the moment I know there is so much buzzing around that I will put something negative in. Not that there is lots of negative stuff going on in my life. In fact quite the opposite but I know if I am tired I can put in things that I will regret later.
So watch this space and I'll be back :-)