Greenbelt

I've been a bit quiet of late. Lots of stuff in my head but no real outlet. I think I am waiting for Tabi to get to college so I have 8hrs at least free every day to think and blog and do some study. Lots of study planned.

But as so many of those I follow on blogs are off to Greenbelt I felt I ought to just say I am going too. Though whether I shall be brave enough to say Hi to those I know via blog, and those I've met in passing at conferences who knows. But I have some real friends I know I will catch up with and enjoy.
As this is mine and Tabi's first ever Greenbelt we are not sure what we are letting ourselves in for but I am sure I will come back with loads and loads to blog on. Just looking at who is coming that I sort of know I know it will challenge my thinking.
I do find it odd though that I have avoided this festival for years because as a new Christian I was told that this was not a good place to go if one's faith wasn't that strong. And yet now I am taking Tabi because she is challenging so many things about the established church, and wants so much more. And the thing is with the joy of the internet I now know that many of those coming will challenge her walk with God.
You know we are so blessed by the good things on the internet that no more do we have to just believe what someone older than us, who may not have even visited these things says, we can read what others think and say, check out the blogs of speakers and make much more informed decisions.
Ok so I know there is also a lot of bad stuff and confussing stuff out there but let's honour what is there and do our best maybe to flood cyberspace with the amazingness of God!!

Community Building

A very interesting one the other day whilst taking about our town and praying with a friend – she was saying that there is a possibility that a church at the top of the hill on a crossroads in our town, and one in a neighbouring town that is on a roundabout may both stop being places of Christian worship. We both felt very sad about this, very upset, and were not sure why as we are not really into buildings.

I have since taken this away to chew it over and wonder whether as well as community leaders and networkers do we also need a place to gather? I know we could use homes, but again we do need people who are willing to open their homes; we need to be willing to open our homes. But if we are not at that point, or want to invite a diverse group of people, or want somewhere where people can just drop in is it wrong to have a building?

As I write this I reminded of stories from 24/7 network of people drawn to their Boiler rooms and th things that happen there. Yes it is great that The Church is leaving the building to go do mission but I wonder if we do still need places where people can come to

Thomas Merton on Following God's call

I liked this prayer by Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk of the 20th century, and his prayer about following God's path -

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You.
And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will not do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust You always, though I may seem
to be lost in the shadow of death,
I will not fear, for You are ever with me,
and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Spider Webs

Thank you Joanna for your comment, in fact for all your comments, but I wanted to respond to the last one on The Journey.
I so agree that there is not one specific way. In fact years ago when I was in Belfast just as my marriage was splitting up I asked my vicar about paths and directions as I was feeling, at that point, like I had lost all mine, and he said that he felt life was like a spider's web. We all have a place where we should be heading but nothing is in straight lines and there will be many junctions along the way that will take us off in a different direction but ultimately, so long as our hearts are seeking God and His will then we will get to where we need to be and will have some cool adventures along the way.
In fact really, even though I do believe what the Bible says about God having planned in some cool things for us all to do, and that we do have a purpose in His grand plan, that in the end the main thing is that we keep our hearts fixed on Him and hold on to those things that are dearest to Him and not to us - like repentance, forgiveness, loving Him with all we have and loving our neighbours as ourselves.
I will enjoy the journey and that at times spider-web likeness of it all :)

The Journey

It has been an interesting one just of late! But then life is a journey and I think, for me, especially, I need to start getting use to it. For what feels like one of the first times ever I have realized I was on a wrong road, had been side-tracked due to pressures of making sure everyone else is ok, money is fine, etc, etc. On the Sophia Network Jenny talks of how women do put themselves last and this is true. But I have realised that to be true to my family, to my daughter and my son, honest to my husband, I need to start keeping on the path God has set for me.
You know when I took that wrong turn, it was like when you do it in the car, and everything just felt wrong. I struggled to put my finger on it because others too were saying that this must be the right path because of..... (and they listed their reasons). Which also got me thinking as to how often when someone asks what we think we got to our own life view rather than God's.
I have managed to do a major U turn and I am back going towards the road I think I was on. I need now to, instead of rushing ahead and doing I need to be praying and thinking. So much has changed so suddenly that it was easy to get swept along. And, as I read in Steve Chalke's Apprentice book we so often fill our lives with being busy so that we don't have time to think.
Hey I have been blessed by a husband who has totally taken on board me and my children and sometimes in my being grateful I try to over-compensate instead of trusting him too.
I need to go back and reread what I have written about discipling and community and see, firstly now who/what/where my community is now I am no longer a home schooling mum and find out how I connect into there, and also look and listen to who it is that He has me discipling and how I do that.
Interestingly with the discipling those I thought I would just carry on supporting have all just been too busy to see me so I think God is saying something there too.
But for me now its a time to trust in Him and He has a plan and also thinks I am great, and stay on the journey He has me on.
But isn't it great that we have a God who is ok with us making mistakes and can help us do major U turns?

Wallander

This is a must watch TV detective program on BBC 4, which we see on bbc.co.uk/iplayer. It is Swedish with subtitles but that does not seem to detract from the program.
Every murder always seems to be something rising up from someone's past, some wrong they have done, and someone from that, generally a child who's mother has been killed or someone wrongly imprisoned. seeking revenge. It always keeps me awake at night thinking of the whole thing of 'should people get what they deserve' and 'how much easier live would be for all concerned if one side forgave and/or the other side repented'.
The person who has sort revenge either gets arrested or comes to a sticky end and very much I feel that the program is saying 'there is a better way'.
So how do I take this out to a world, at times even a Christian world, that wants revenge - even if it is in a subtle way. (Check out Stuff Christians like's Praying bad things will happen..... blog to expand on that thought!)

Community!

I have been meaning to blog this for a while, but life has been busy. I am coming to terms with working in the cafe and fitting in everything else but it does mean I don't get time for everything.

Lesley and I were chatting about the home ed community and how it seems, in our area, to be on an ebb and were talking about good time and about how to revive it. Strange for me as with Tabi going into college and me working this is no longer my community, which got me thinking about who/what/where my community was now, but that is a different thought.

But what I realised was, from our conversation, from seeing the community network in our street, from Ian reporting back on a talk he'd been to about some of the since demolished areas around us, and from listening to friends in a church talking of community groups is that it actually takes a lot of organizing and at least two key people who want to see this community work.
In our street there are at least 2 women who work really hard to make sure events happen, who invite people round, etc. In the beginnings of our home ed community there were 2 or 3 of us who really did lots of phone calls and made sure things happened. Most have moved on or have got part time jobs, which of course limits the time they can put into something like home ed. With my church friends I hear them often moaning about how they have to do lots of the ground work and then people come on board.
I think if one can see they key people, the networks and stay close them community can grow. Or if we want community then we have to be willing to put in lots of time emailing, phoning, making sure there is something to come to, making people feel welcome and helping them to then own the group, but firstly it is making them feel wanted and welcome.
I know we could say everyone should be doing this but I think as well as being unrealistic it is also not everyone's gifting and I think too that community should be where everyone can play their role and feel safe. So for those who are called to be the community leaders they really do need to understand what their role is and not expect it to be easy. I think too they also probably need a vision or what they want - whether this be home ed, church or whatever