I am blogging just because I should be putting curtains back up and have got bored with Facebook. How often when things just get too much for us do we hide and procrastinate?
We are going through loads of change and all of it is good! But there is a lot of it and at times, after listening through the prayer podcasts from 24/7 prayer for the last week for Europe I feel a bit of a fraud with what I do and how I spend my time. Yes I am totally passionate about wanting to change the world, to want to see justice come, but I often feel like a rabbit in the headlights.
How many poor people do I know? Do I really want to leave my comfort zone to go find them?
With some much changing in our household I do feel that I am hanging on to precious family time at the moment and then wondering if I should. I am also suffering a bit from exhaustion brought on by stress and transition - continuous transition from childhood I realised the other day. You know I haven't had the same address for more than 7 years in a row, and when I was in a static address generally the world was madly changing around me!
But I do find that much as I would love to be out there finding the poor wherever they are, I also want to spend some precious few times still building memories with Ben and Tabi and integrating them with Ian, and Ian with them, and how do I find the energy for it all, especially as I am becoming more and more introverted?
And then on top of all this God comes along - I am presuming its God because it came about whilst I was praying - and downloads all this stuff for me to do, which actually seems to be more about empowering people and releasing more with our thoughts on "Inspiring Heroes" than to moving to be with the poor.
Maybe this is a time when I need to trust that Dad knows best and just stay close to The One who we all know knows we are awesome and knows the plans He has for us.
So I am having to learn that even though there are thing I feel I ought to do there are plans that He has made for me before the beginning of time and I have to trust Him with me and mine and let Him lead.
But it still seems to mean that there is so much going on!! :-)
My daughter once said "Procrastination - faffing with a purpose", it made me laugh. I am great at procrastinating, before I sit down to write my assignment for a course I am doing watering the plants suddenly becomes important and I can't start without a cup of coffee.
ReplyDeleteI think it is great that you were instructed to empower people, you never know where the actions you take now will lead to. That is one thing which is so brilliant about Kingdom living, how an action in one place could reach somewhere else and you may never know the effect you have this side of eternity.
:o) Keep up the empowering! You've been such an encouragement and blessing to me over the years. I am glad God has called you to be more 'out there'. I look forward to your future adventures with Him!
ReplyDeleteLove Kate.