Thank you to everyone for the lovely comments I've got about this. Shame you can't get them on the blog so we can get a discussion going sometime but never mind!!
I've been chewing this whole family thing over a lot and its not often I visit a topic a 2nd time so quickly. But I keep wondering if instead of just saying the Church is Family we need to start teaching more on what that means. To the 1st Century church this was all so easy because they were use to families living together, having to get over disagreements because their livelihood depended on it with the whole farming things. And with the early Church they couldn't bitch about each other because they were in a persecuted minority.
I have been looking at families. A friend of mine has recently got engaged. Very romantic story about meeting her fiance on Facebook, but then with him being in Canada and her in San Diego they decided she would live with him family in Canada for a bit to see how the relationship developed. A great way of getting to know someone warts and all. I think of another friend in California who married 3 years ago where the two families were so intertwined and so close to each other that even when she was not seeing her now husband (they took about a 4 year split) his parents still supported her in mission, and of course everyone was so delighted when they got back together. And because they were all so close there was room to include us when we went over for the wedding.
Now that's a question how come its the closer families are to each other that there is always room for someone else? Maybe this is the same for church? The closer those in the congregation are to each other, the more secure in all things, the more truly welcoming they are? The more the less of a threat if someone new gets invited to dinner, someone knew speaks "a word", the leaders are safe in who they are and what is going on that there is space for people to make mistakes?
Actually that is something I think is a biggie too for families - the space to make mistakes. My kids are great but they do screw up but I still love them, help them out and give them some love whilst they sort out the next move and because of this they seem to try lots of things without fear. And I know this in other families too where it is safe to make mistakes.
Again though going back to the congregation thing, because that is really where the rubber hits the road, I think in the West we have a luxury of being able to fall out with each other. In the parts of the world where the Church is persecuted for just being they do not have that luxury. But also I see in those parts of the world a deeper understanding about the survival of family.
I do wonder if here in the West we have lost a lot of what connected family is what with the nuclear family, of being able to survive without the help of parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, and that has fallen into our congregational life?
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
.......But You Cant Choose Your Family!
I've been pondering church/congregational life after a very poorly attended 24hrs of prayer in our town, and the phrase that came to mind was "you can choose your friends but you cant choose your family" We keep going on about how the church is family, of how we are brothers and sisters in Christ but we often think that should be that we are all friends and all get on with each other.
We have just had a bit of a family filled weekend, seeing Ian's parents and one of his sisters on Sunday and me seeing my Mum and having a bit of a heart to heart with her on Monday, and also of watching how Ben and Tabi react with them too. All these people are my family, whether in-laws or parent or children or spouse. Mustn't forget Ian in this equation!! But all of them react differently to each other and I react differently to each of them, and differently to them when other combinations are about. But they are all family.
I wonder often if we actually say/know we are family in the Church (Big C world wide church) and yet expect to act like friends. I tell my friends things I wouldn't tell my family. I do things differently with my friends than I do with my family. I choose my friends because our interests are similar, our ways of thinking are similar or challenging. I see one friend and we talk about something, another and we talk about something else. Some I see or email on a very regular basis, some I see very occasionaly. But with family its different. With spouse and children I live with them and my life does have to fit in with theirs and visa versa. With the wider family because we life a distance away we made arrangements to see each other but often we have to grit our teeth and deal with certain things, the way Mum refuses to see her son has grown up, the way another parent doesn't want to see there are problems that could be their fault. With some families they see each other every day because they live across the street, with others they live in different countries. Some families have gone through so much that the mention of a parent just causes so much pain because of the abuse that has been done, with another its just a hurt because of misunderstanding and breakdown in relationship.
So as we can see there are happy families, ok families, close families, distant families, families full of hurt and pain, all only held together by blood ties.
As the Family of God we are held together by the blood tie of Jesus and actually sometimes I think we need to accept that this is all that holds us together. Yes in some places there is a close bond within the congregation, with others its bond through a para-church movement, with some its through a distance but a share association, but also with some it is only that blood tie because there has been hurt and abuse and pain, relationship breakdown, expectation, a congregation so large that the quiet ones get lost in it and never get to use their giftings, with others an openness and a way of sharing for all.
I think we need to stop expecting the blood tie of Jesus to make us into one big happy family. Yes this is what He prayed for in John 17:20-21. Actually He prayed that we would be united as Jesus and God are united, but actually I think that also comes by hard work and wanting it not just by expecting it!
Not sure where I'm going to go with this at the moment but I'm going to pray and trust and see what help my Heavenly Father can give me. I wonder too how much we as children try to do the family stuff when I know as Mum that I have to be helping my children. Maybe, just maybe we need to lean on God more and let Him help us to be a close happy family in Him. How does that work when others don't seem to want it or get it? I don't know but I think I'll go for a long walk and pray about it!
We have just had a bit of a family filled weekend, seeing Ian's parents and one of his sisters on Sunday and me seeing my Mum and having a bit of a heart to heart with her on Monday, and also of watching how Ben and Tabi react with them too. All these people are my family, whether in-laws or parent or children or spouse. Mustn't forget Ian in this equation!! But all of them react differently to each other and I react differently to each of them, and differently to them when other combinations are about. But they are all family.
I wonder often if we actually say/know we are family in the Church (Big C world wide church) and yet expect to act like friends. I tell my friends things I wouldn't tell my family. I do things differently with my friends than I do with my family. I choose my friends because our interests are similar, our ways of thinking are similar or challenging. I see one friend and we talk about something, another and we talk about something else. Some I see or email on a very regular basis, some I see very occasionaly. But with family its different. With spouse and children I live with them and my life does have to fit in with theirs and visa versa. With the wider family because we life a distance away we made arrangements to see each other but often we have to grit our teeth and deal with certain things, the way Mum refuses to see her son has grown up, the way another parent doesn't want to see there are problems that could be their fault. With some families they see each other every day because they live across the street, with others they live in different countries. Some families have gone through so much that the mention of a parent just causes so much pain because of the abuse that has been done, with another its just a hurt because of misunderstanding and breakdown in relationship.
So as we can see there are happy families, ok families, close families, distant families, families full of hurt and pain, all only held together by blood ties.
As the Family of God we are held together by the blood tie of Jesus and actually sometimes I think we need to accept that this is all that holds us together. Yes in some places there is a close bond within the congregation, with others its bond through a para-church movement, with some its through a distance but a share association, but also with some it is only that blood tie because there has been hurt and abuse and pain, relationship breakdown, expectation, a congregation so large that the quiet ones get lost in it and never get to use their giftings, with others an openness and a way of sharing for all.
I think we need to stop expecting the blood tie of Jesus to make us into one big happy family. Yes this is what He prayed for in John 17:20-21. Actually He prayed that we would be united as Jesus and God are united, but actually I think that also comes by hard work and wanting it not just by expecting it!
Not sure where I'm going to go with this at the moment but I'm going to pray and trust and see what help my Heavenly Father can give me. I wonder too how much we as children try to do the family stuff when I know as Mum that I have to be helping my children. Maybe, just maybe we need to lean on God more and let Him help us to be a close happy family in Him. How does that work when others don't seem to want it or get it? I don't know but I think I'll go for a long walk and pray about it!
Thursday, 20 May 2010
Canadian Geese
Do you remember me saying about the joy of the honking of the Canadian goose sometime in the winter telling the whole world that one of his kind had arrived on his river?
Both are a long way from a migration route so it is so lovely for him to have a mate now. And they have now had babies. About 4-5 little goslings to look after. Ian saw them the other day. They have made a nest at the bottom of the old Chantry, a lovely house and gardens, and parent Geese where taking baby geese for a swimming lesson. Ian said that Dad stood on the side looking so protective whilst Mum led them into the water. I felt so pleased for him.
Again it reminded me of how life is, of how we need to protect those things we have waited so long for and have finally been given. It is so easy to take things for granted once we've had them a while, like our relationship with God. Someone was pondering on a blog where they would be now if they hadn't gone into that 1st 24/7 prayer room over 10 years ago. They now work full time for 24/7 prayer.
Again the lovely Canadian goose has given me a good example of keeping an eye on what I have got and not taking it all for granted.
Both are a long way from a migration route so it is so lovely for him to have a mate now. And they have now had babies. About 4-5 little goslings to look after. Ian saw them the other day. They have made a nest at the bottom of the old Chantry, a lovely house and gardens, and parent Geese where taking baby geese for a swimming lesson. Ian said that Dad stood on the side looking so protective whilst Mum led them into the water. I felt so pleased for him.
Again it reminded me of how life is, of how we need to protect those things we have waited so long for and have finally been given. It is so easy to take things for granted once we've had them a while, like our relationship with God. Someone was pondering on a blog where they would be now if they hadn't gone into that 1st 24/7 prayer room over 10 years ago. They now work full time for 24/7 prayer.
Again the lovely Canadian goose has given me a good example of keeping an eye on what I have got and not taking it all for granted.
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Busy/Distractions
I have been really busy of late and so haven't had time to blog. Actually I haven't had much time to think too deeply so there has been very little in my head.
I was exploring this with a friend and she had just read how people with my motivation can get caught up in being busy, pleasing people - as in not in that people pleasing way but just going with the flow as they like to be with people to encourage them on their journey, doing lots of little things that lead to that feeling of being overwhelmed. But as well as this they lose out on their calling, on what the God given plan for their lives is.
This is where I got to. Oh it didn't come on all of a sudden but has been creeping up on me. First I take on this job, then that friend wants to see me, then this other job, then another friend, as well as the regular family commitments. Suddenly my day is too full to think, to really pray without getting distracted, to have time to write and be creative, even no time to do the CAB study that I really want to. I had to slow down, to rethink, and this is what I have been doing, in the gaps, between this conversation.
I know God has a plan for me in this town and I don't think it is to do with cleaning old people's houses, no matter how much they need it and how lovely they are. I have spent time sorting out what I do and how much time it takes and then cutting it back. Yes we could do with the money, but I have survived on less when I have been doing what God has called me to. I wonder where that trust has gone? God will provide for all our needs so I do not need to be doing jobs that then distract me from what He wants for me. And even though this is probably another blog space I do wonder why it is so much easier to trust God when one is with people who also trust God? In Ywam we all had to trust God but it does seem in regular congregational settings we trust more in programs. But I digress........
I am having to set good boundaries, to learn to say No. I need to go back to being a human being rather than a human doing.
The interesting thing though I noticed yesterday when Ian and I took time out from doing what we ought to do and just did what we wanted to do that there was time in our garden. Time to plant and time to weed! And I remember God saying when I started on this whole thing with the chickens and the no dig gardening that this was part of the establishing the land. It is interesting that when we took time out to be there was time to establish something in our land. There was also time for a neighbour to share a confidence, and for Tabi to cook us a meal. Both things are rare as the neighbour is very private person, and Tabi really does not like cooking. But I believe this came from slowing down, from being not doing, from doing what we wanted not what we ought to, for having time for us rather than others.
My prayer is that I am bold enough to stick to my boundaries when people try to push them, when others need me, and to then find that space again to keep exploring what it is that God is wanting us/me to establish, what His vision for me is and how I get there.
I was exploring this with a friend and she had just read how people with my motivation can get caught up in being busy, pleasing people - as in not in that people pleasing way but just going with the flow as they like to be with people to encourage them on their journey, doing lots of little things that lead to that feeling of being overwhelmed. But as well as this they lose out on their calling, on what the God given plan for their lives is.
This is where I got to. Oh it didn't come on all of a sudden but has been creeping up on me. First I take on this job, then that friend wants to see me, then this other job, then another friend, as well as the regular family commitments. Suddenly my day is too full to think, to really pray without getting distracted, to have time to write and be creative, even no time to do the CAB study that I really want to. I had to slow down, to rethink, and this is what I have been doing, in the gaps, between this conversation.
I know God has a plan for me in this town and I don't think it is to do with cleaning old people's houses, no matter how much they need it and how lovely they are. I have spent time sorting out what I do and how much time it takes and then cutting it back. Yes we could do with the money, but I have survived on less when I have been doing what God has called me to. I wonder where that trust has gone? God will provide for all our needs so I do not need to be doing jobs that then distract me from what He wants for me. And even though this is probably another blog space I do wonder why it is so much easier to trust God when one is with people who also trust God? In Ywam we all had to trust God but it does seem in regular congregational settings we trust more in programs. But I digress........
I am having to set good boundaries, to learn to say No. I need to go back to being a human being rather than a human doing.
The interesting thing though I noticed yesterday when Ian and I took time out from doing what we ought to do and just did what we wanted to do that there was time in our garden. Time to plant and time to weed! And I remember God saying when I started on this whole thing with the chickens and the no dig gardening that this was part of the establishing the land. It is interesting that when we took time out to be there was time to establish something in our land. There was also time for a neighbour to share a confidence, and for Tabi to cook us a meal. Both things are rare as the neighbour is very private person, and Tabi really does not like cooking. But I believe this came from slowing down, from being not doing, from doing what we wanted not what we ought to, for having time for us rather than others.
My prayer is that I am bold enough to stick to my boundaries when people try to push them, when others need me, and to then find that space again to keep exploring what it is that God is wanting us/me to establish, what His vision for me is and how I get there.
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Avatar
Oh started something this morning!!! There is a Facebook link saying about how Avatar the movie is linked to occultic things, thus seeming to imply that the director is into all this, or that the anti-Christ is ruling, or something. Not quite sure what really. But to view the link you have to click the "like" button and then it registers on your Facebook status! Now if that isn't up to something I am not sure what is.
Anyway I put some dismissive comment with it on my FB and have had an interesting response from one friend. Thought it would set him off actually but......
Anyway what struck me is how much do we as Christians go looking for the paranormal, the occult, the dodgy when actually Jesus never commissioned us to do this? We were sent to tell the good news of Him, of how through Jesus we can actually talk with God, how all the wrong things we have done in this world can be forgive by what He did for us and so from that we will not just have a more connected and peaceful time here on this earth but will go to spend eternity with our Father in heaven. And from this we are meant to be discipling people into following this awesome God, becoming more like Jesus whatever that may mean (another subject for another blog day!) and going out to heal the sick, release the captives, etc, etc.
Does putting a link up to tell people that a movie is from the devil really help them?
At the recent prayer school at our nearby congregation one of the things that struck me was how we often tell people the bad news of Jesus, that they have sinned and are going to go to hell if they don't turn to Jesus, rather than the good news about the destiny He has for them in Him, and the whole being in touch with God. I feel that this Avatar link comes in the bad news part rather than the great news about Jesus. And yes I do know both the whole being forgiven for sins is as important as the being connected with God but should we not be proclaiming rather than making people feel bad?
Anyway I put some dismissive comment with it on my FB and have had an interesting response from one friend. Thought it would set him off actually but......
Anyway what struck me is how much do we as Christians go looking for the paranormal, the occult, the dodgy when actually Jesus never commissioned us to do this? We were sent to tell the good news of Him, of how through Jesus we can actually talk with God, how all the wrong things we have done in this world can be forgive by what He did for us and so from that we will not just have a more connected and peaceful time here on this earth but will go to spend eternity with our Father in heaven. And from this we are meant to be discipling people into following this awesome God, becoming more like Jesus whatever that may mean (another subject for another blog day!) and going out to heal the sick, release the captives, etc, etc.
Does putting a link up to tell people that a movie is from the devil really help them?
At the recent prayer school at our nearby congregation one of the things that struck me was how we often tell people the bad news of Jesus, that they have sinned and are going to go to hell if they don't turn to Jesus, rather than the good news about the destiny He has for them in Him, and the whole being in touch with God. I feel that this Avatar link comes in the bad news part rather than the great news about Jesus. And yes I do know both the whole being forgiven for sins is as important as the being connected with God but should we not be proclaiming rather than making people feel bad?
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