Dilemmas

Dilemmas are interesting things to have to deal with. I have just come back from only the one day at New Wine, a huge Anglican based week long conference, based in a field near where we live. Its interesting that we have never been there before, even though it happens every year and is only 40 mins drive from our house. Probably the reason. Have you noticed how we also like to do mission in places that are not on our doorstep too?

I have been a bit challenged by God on a few personal things recently and realise that the congregation I went to last Sunday does speak a lot about getting oneself right with God and going from there, which is a great place to start, but the talks we heard yesterday, on the whole, were much more about doing, getting out there, justice.

I love the 24-7 ethos that speaks of prayer, mission and justice though am still trying to work out how that works in the world that I live in. It would be great to have some like minded people on board but as yet God has not revealed them.
So my dilemma at the moment is to try to work out what it is God wants, not just for me but for us all. Not the whole world but us as a family which with Ben and Tabi growing up looks very different every day almost.

I would love to buy a big house and fill it full of children in some deprived part of the country. I would love to start a Simple organic church here in my home and release people into who God has called them to me not to just fit the mold. I would love to go abroad on an internship but the ones I like seem to want graduates. I am about to embark on a course that will open doors to go into university.

Sometimes you see and hear people who's lives are just so sorted and it seems all so straight forward. I wonder if that is true?

So as I wrestle with my dilemma I may not blog so much, but then I may use this as a space to voice what I feel and then see what feedback I get.

God really does want us to be involved with Him in justice and setting people free. In fact He says so very clearly in Isaiah 58 and 61 amongst other places. Someone said recently that there are more mentions of justice issues in the Bible than being born again and yet so many congregations labour more on making sure everyone is born again than walking justly.

How do we do this in the places God has placed us? in the families He has given us to protect and release? the partners He has given us to love and cherish? the neighbourhoods where we are now?

Heroes or Anit heroes?

We were listening to the news on the radio today about this Facebook page paying tribute to Raoul Moat and how badly the social services and police had let him down. Here is man who has murdered one person who's only crime was to go out with Raoul's ex-girlfriend, and attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend who he claims to love and a policeman who was doing this job. What makes this man a hero?

We live in strange times when someone like this can be help up as a kind of hero and those who are doing their jobs, like the police, as criminals because this man committed suicide. What are we teaching people? Is this going to encourage people to want to join the police force, want to fight for justice, to join in with the social services teams to help people out. I am tired of it all.

But then as I looked more and prayed into it, it feels to me as part of a scheme to stop people trusting in authority, to stop them trusting in the very people that have been put into our society to protect us. There is so much in the news at the moment, from the Baby P horror where it was again the social services who were seen as the bad guys not the people who had tortured the poor baby, and then the incident with the Brazilian boy who ran when the Police shouted "Stop" and they killed him. Why did the boy run anyway when he was from a country where Police carry guns and do shoot people? In fact in Brazil they shoot street children just to get rid of them, and that is the Police there who do that.

We may not have a perfect police force or social services but it would be great if we didn't keep running them down, but saw that people make choices and some of that involves them deciding to commit suicide after murdering one person and shooting 2 others. Surely this person cannot be a hero? or even an anti-hero? Dear Jesus please help us get things back in perspective.

From the Graduation speach in the Movie Eclipse

Will write more on what I think of the 3rd Twilight Movie, Eclipse, in some other blog but for now just feel this speech by Jessica at their graduation is what every young person needs to hear, and also every parent.

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our things were answers like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess… When we were ten, they asked us again. We answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist… But now that we’ve grown up, they want a more serious answer. Well, how about this… Who the hell knows? This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess. We’ll know.”