The need to belong to something!

I have just been through an interesting time and because I am wired this way I do have to ask God what He is trying to teach me and this is what I think it is!

We are all so desperate to be a part of something but we want to keep it on a superficial just in case it isn't as close as we would like it to be, so when anyone rattles that way we want things to be, or says we need to sort something out because it really isn't as it should be, things being brushed under the carpet, incidents where people have got hurt but wont be open about it, we get very defensive because we didn't want to look at that ourselves anyway.

I think we have become such an individual society but have such a craving for community, in fact that word has really become a buzzword with people talking about online communities and all sorts. And most of these communities are pseudo communities because we refuse to go out in trust and openness. Hey do I really want you to know what I really think and feel about things because if I do then maybe you wont want to be my friend any more, you'll reject me from your community and I will be alone again. Maybe it is better for me to keep lots of things to myself even if it hurts because at least you'll be my friend.

Well actually you'll sort of be my friend but you cant be really because you don't really know me and I'll always have to keep that part of me hidden because I know you wont like that. And actually I can tell you that for sure because when I showed that part of myself to someone before they rejected me.

But I am now looking at whether I can really cope with being a part of that sort of group of people or whether I am willing to just be open about who I am, because actually I do have people around who like me the way I am, and learn that I want real and open and honest and go from there.

To me to this sort of fits in a follows on with what Stewart preached on last night - check it out on the Bath City church link on the side here and go to wherever it says to be able to rehear the talks - about the soil in our lives. Stewart doesn't say this but to me if I cannot say what the rocks, hard places, worries, fears ,etc in my life for one how can I get them sorted, and also if I cannot trust this church family I am in are they really family?

I want to go all out for real community but I have realise that this means I have to be the one being real which means I am going to be (I wanted to put in probably there but knew that wasn't going to be true) the one who gets hurt.
Hey but then I have God on my side and I know He wants us to have real, genuine, open trusting relationship with Him and to be practicing that with each other!